Once again we are in a most uncomfortable place. Limbo.
Between Orders, plans and dreams is a cavern. You can’t cross it no matter what you try. The mind is continually trying to find the solution to relieve the discomfort of indefinite waiting. But to no avail. It is out of our hands. We must just wait.
This is not new. An army family goes through this many times in a career. Repeated upheaval, grief, excitement, adventure, and the near constant waiting. Yet each time we begin the cycle, knowing that in the end, we will be ok, we have to experience it anew; this tumbling of the ocean, a surfboarder crushed by the surf, gasping for air, and swimming as hard as one can, until finally…breathe!!!!
The fact that we do know that we will come out on the other side of the cavern doesn’t help all that much with the task of waiting for the calendar to change numbers. There is no end date to this state. Not in the present. It feels as if it will stay this way “forever”.
The right and left brain are at war. Logic announcing clearly that it will work out. We will be together again, and thrive in our new home. Conversely, if everything changes, and we stay put, we will again adjust and be “ok”. The other half, emotion, is doing it’s best to not jump off the cavern’s edge and plunge into nothingness, effectively ending the pain of the unknown. Yet it’s voice seems to have the upper hand, as the body feels the effects of the right brain, more than the left. The disconnect of the two, logic and emotion, causes the stress we feel daily. It doesn’t take a lot to set one off. Nerves are on edge, moods affected by most anything.
Today was a day we expected to hear an answer. Everything hinges on the orders. When and if Joe Army finally processes and approves the paperwork for us to move, transportation can be arranged and goodbyes can be said. So much work is ahead of me, yet nothing else can be done. I am ready for them to come pack us up. Holidays are coming. Family wants to see us, I think before we leave for an indefinite time. And so we… Wait.